Carved Within: Diary

I'm tired, tired from my parents, I don't respect them when I don't gain any from them even after I showed it.

How much I wish I could get a high pay job, get myself a house of my own and stay out. Tears aren't allowed to fall as it's not allowed by me, because tears show weakness, poeple take advantage of it.

Looking up at the raining sky, wonder how long has it been since someone will hold me close, knowing I shouldn't had have to carry the burden and sadness all by myself. The raining sky was so beautiful, as if it's washing up the earth, and mixing up the tears that slowly, unbearably escaping from my eyes. Hugged by the rain, no one knows i'm feeling sad, not seen by anyone, how good that is... but they only come occasionally, what a waste.

Listening to the song "Only Human" from Japanese Drama "1 Litre oF Tears", recommended by Bilqis, how sad yet encouraging, encouraging us to be strong, be brave, hang in there and help will soon be there. Who am i? I'm a nobody trying to be somebody, somebody someone will recognise and look up to.. I'm tired.. and i need a place to hide, please....

Carved Within: Jen's Tattoo

This is Jen's Tattoo, born at 28th Sept 2009, made in Ipoh. Would say this tattoo is nicely done, with the japanese words.

The B2 stands for "Be Brave", and the Japanese words beside means "Please Remember To Be Brave".

For people like Jen, always fear of pain & torture can be easily bully by others even when they don't mean it, at the end of the day, she'll cry and start complaining...

Carved Within: The Raya Weekend

The Raya Weekend

There's really nothing much to do during the weekend, instead of going somewhere for vacation i would prefer to stay at home and rest throughout the day.

I went for grocery shopping, there's some ingredients i need to look out for making the meal as my parents are away for a cousin's wedding where i've luckily escaped the smelly car full of perfume, my parents knew i'm very very sensitive to perfumes yet they're both using it. People always think what's wrong with putting perfumes and stuff like that, but for my situation, these smell can give me a VERY VERY bad headache, and most of the time it will make me puke, damn it!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to the weekend.. Everyone will say wear your seatbelt when you see a police car nearby or a road block in front of you, but how many did caught by the police for not wearing the seatbelt? I'm gonna tell you this, I JUST DID!!!!!!!!!! So ladies and gentlement, although is a short distance, please please please wear your seatbelt or else you will end up just like me. Yeah yeah, there's something the Malaysian like to call "Kopi", so what do we actually mean by that word? Easy, settle it undertable, haha! You're wrong!!!!

Here's the dialog of what happened after i'm being called to stop at the side X.X

Police: *Waving his hand* (Yeah yeah, asking us to wind down the window)

Me: Yaa?

Police: Sila tunjuk lesen anda.

(Getting the license out from the wallet & handing it to the police)

Me: Nah.

Police: Kesalahan kamu tak pakai tali pinggan, sangat bahaya tau? Nak Pergi mana ni..?

Me: Balik rumah lah, ingat dekat aje.

Police: Lain kali ingat pakai, bahaya ni. (Writing the "saman")

Me: Saman ni berapa ah..? (Malaysian should know what it means *Giggle*)

Police: Sorry boss, hari ni ketua yang panggil kamu henti, kalau ku panggil ku boleh bantu. *Handing over the saman* Bayar kat balai polis puchong, ada diskaun kompound.

Me: (Sob Sob, gonna cry soon) Ya, Thank You Boss.

Suddenly a black saga wind stopped next to my car, they were looking at me laughing and smiling, by using sign language they're asking me what's my offence for being caught, by using back the sign language, i told them seatbelt, and they hurry and put on their seatbelt, hahaha, but it's too late, cause the police saw them!

Well, i'm kinda sad that they caught me on this one, but i would prefer to see a fair justice then giving the world an impression of Malaysia ia a country that can settle everything through money. I've learnt my lesson, and will becareful in the future.

Carved Within: Amcorp Mall

5th Sept 2009



It was Saturday morning, I was having Prawn Mee for breakfast with Mun at State, seems that it had been our routine for morning breakfast, since the prawn noodle taste owesome and they owner never hesitate to give every bowl of noodle the whole egg.



My mobile service had send a several message to inform me that my usage had exceeded 80% of the limit, so i decided to pay the bill at Amcorp Mall. This mall is where the CHS student hang out after or before school hours, as a former student of that school, i'm actually quite familiar with the building.



The Tele Center located near the entrance on the ground floor, i payed my bill, and decided to walk around the building since i've never been here for quite some time. When we're planning to head back to the car after a phone call from a friend asking us to be there in an hour, i notice an indian guy was standing behind Mun at the escalator, we were very near to the end of the escalator, so might as well walk a little faster and let the man pass.



After we exited the escalator, we head toward the entrance where an autopay machine should be there as well, this is when i notice he was still walking right behind us, and i started to feel curious and comfirm if he's following us. I pulled Mun to the side with me and hug her, that man stopped as well, that's when i comfirm, he was following us.



I pulled Mun to the other direction, but heading toward the entrance as well. I thought i had to pay the parking ticket at the autopay machine, still.... the man was standing somewhere near our place，when the ticket was inserted into the machine all of a sudden i notice he was right behind me, i wasn't freak out, but i was getting more and more angry, i feel like grabbing his phone and ask him what's his problem with us, or maybe take a chair from the starbucks coffe and knock directly into his bold head. But in the end, i choose not to get involve in violence, as i know violence will only lead to revenge. Thank God they were helding some antique, the entrance was crowded and people are selling their credit card service, and from my past experience a security will always be there to watch out for trouble. I told the security about that indian guy, seems like he disappeared the moment we talk to the security, soon we enter the car and leave, but still paying attention at our surrounding in case that idiot came out of no where in his vehicles.

We're not allowed to have knifes in our cars, and it definitely doesn't sound like me if i have a pepper spray with me. So i think i'm gonna take my mom's advice, go to a petshop and get myself an extra large cow skin bone, i guess i could tell the police that it's for my doggie, but the truth is... i'm gonna whack ppl up with it. Ladies, be observant with your surroundings, because you never know someone might be following you the moment u enter the shopping mall until you decide to go back to your car, always always have someone to accompany you, and last but not least, it's better to run than to fight back, and i belive i made a right choice.