It has finally arrive

18 Jan 2011
.
We worked hard, overcoming all the obstacle that stand in the way.
.
However, the changes was too visible, clear, yet refuse to accept. She refuse to accept the cruel reality, fear it might somehow cause everything down the drain, all effort were wasted.
.
Now that it had happened, it was calm, rational, accepted by both, what was realise is that not a single effort was put to waste, at least that's what she think. The day seems unusual, seems empty, the motivation faded, and now... she come back to square 1.
.
Time... is needed to clear the mind of those who seems too hard to bear, please allow me to go back to who I was, allow me to use my way to solve the knot in my heart, and therefore.. I welcome back my friends who is always there by my side whenever i'm not in good condition, they are cigarettes & alcohol. Get me drunk, get me dizzy, let me sleep, and work endlessly when i'm not, fill my time with everything but her, drag me out of this darkness.
.
I used to say, when this end, i will leave, to a faraway land where i can start all over again, while deep inside, there's someone important, someone i'm very protective of, someone who's no longer my concern. And therefore, i will leave, to Taiwan, if thing are settled down there, might consider staying and applying for Permanant Residence, if i wish to come back, i will not contact those who will effect my emotion. This had somehow made things easier, i have no worries, and i'm ready to leave, i'm pretty sure there will be someone a lot better than me out there waiting for you, good bye.
.
Lesley