Christmas was my favorite occasion every year, no matter what i been through or how terrible my life was.. the particular occasion always make a different and it always put an end to the year while welcoming the new ones.
But this year, it's somehow different. As if there is no Christmas, for your information.. i hate the time right now, when i spent my time cursing other's and hoping this would somehow end quick or never come.
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Today is moody, nothing seems interesting... just me and my piano, ended up playing various songs before going to work.
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So that's how it is... the feelin of losing the trust of a very important person, my heart beat almost stopped in the middle of the night, i don't think i can ever survive another situation similiar to this anymore. And i've made a vow to myself, if i ever lose this important person in my life... i will leave... to a place where i don't have to be constantly reminded about the past.
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You can't blame others for not knowing you, because at the end of the day, it's you yourself who have to stand up after falling down, and move on with you life no matter if you're going to be alone or not. I hate to agree to this statement, but to force it into my head. If i've ever disappear, i know Kheng, Melody and Jen will miss me the most.. for my own selfishness.. forgiveness is all i could ask for..
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Again... No longer i have the confident to give you a good life, i don't even know what's the definition of a good life for you, but i certainly know mine. If we have to be apart to realise, to regret, and to remember.. then perhaps it's the best solution for us.
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For now... i will do all i can d make things right, anything & everything just to keep your heart close to mine.
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